Can we come to an arrangement?

Over the years I have built up an incredibly valuable roster of tradesmen and professionals who are willing to do work for me, without charge, in return for sexual favours.  This began well over 30 years ago – I needed something done, money was tight, I knew he liked me, loved my outfit, couldn’t keep his eyes off my bust, so I asked if we could come to an arrangement which wouldn’t involve cash and … well, one thing led to another, as they say and I still see him to this day.

I really enjoyed that first bargain: it saved me money, of course, but it was very flattering too and I was excited by the slightly sleazy nature of the deal. Was I using my body to get what I wanted or was I selling myself like a cheap whore? I told my husband what I had done and he was very supportive and said I should think about doing this more often. And so it began.

I’ve sourced these plumbers, electricians, gardeners, builders, engineers, car mechanics and even some what might be called ‘professionals’ (accountant, architect etc) in a variety of ways.  Originally, I’d get a young tradesman round, I’d be in something sexy and sky-high heels and I’d hint at the proposed deal and see where it went. This was successful in some cases but proved a bit hit and miss, so I largely stopped using this approach. Some were introduced to me by others from my roster, people they knew and could vouch for and who had already agreed they’d be interested in a mutually beneficial arrangement. I even had one cheeky chap who had heard about my hand relief skills and simply came to my door and pitched his services for mine. I thought that was too forward and I turned him away.

One or two are men I’ve got to know through other means who have then turned out to be very skilled in a trade. And then there is the Internet, of course! For a time there was a website called “Cheeky Barter” (see photo below) and I looked though those offering services there and also placed my own advertisement. This got a good response, the only issue being that I like to have men who are reasonably local (not too local!!) so that if I have an urgent need – the lights go out, the oven stops working – I can get them over to my place within the day and some of those who responded enthusiastically lived quite long distances away.

I should say that some have come (no pun intended) and gone for various reasons. Some just did not work out, others proved a bit too demanding, some moved, one dropped his trade and became a policeman. But other than a chauffeur I have a pretty complete list and I love all of them.

There has always been an element of ‘rough justice’ in this set-up. For example, recently my electricity tripped out and each time I reset it, it tripped off again. It took my electrician about five minutes to identify the appliance responsible (a soup maker), but it took me longer to get into the nurses uniform and stockings he requested and I then spent half an hour or more giving him nice, unhurried relief, with plenty of post climax stroking. Yet if the job had taken half a day his “payment” would have been the same, which can seem unfair.

I’ve always said they must accept a bit of rough with the smooth but on occasions when it’s been a big job, I’ve invited them back for further servicing or given them some cash too, although handing cash to a man who I have just masturbated always feels the wrong way round to me.

But the other somewhat unfair element of all this is that some get to see me regularly or at least a few times each year while others – on standby, ready to help if asked – aren’t needed very often. So to take an obvious example, Ben who has been doing my garden for longer than I can remember has been here at least once a month this year. In fact, we’ve had so much done this year, getting trees planted and the lawn completely dug up and reseeded from scratch, that he’s had to bring a colleague each time, so I end up masturbating them both and getting a double dose of spunk. They like to joke that after spreading seed on my lawn they then get to spread their seed all over me! And my electrician and my plumber both know they’ll be needed at least a handful of times each year. However, there are those who may not be needed or only very rarely.

This bothered me so last year I tried an experiment which I intend to repeat this year. I looked at my list and identified those who had not needed to visit me to that point during 2022 and in the run up to Christmas I invited them to come over for a little Christmas thank you gift. I’m not sure if they were expecting a bottle of whisky or some chocolates but what they got was me in one of my outfits (naughty nurse is always a winner, as is a lot of leather) and then it was, sit back, gloves on and balls totally drained.

This was great fun and I think really generates a lot of loyalty. And as one of them brought me six bottles of my favourite Champagne, everyone was a winner! So this year, in the week or so before Christmas I know I’m going to be pumping quite a few cocks, as there are these lads and then there’s my boss of course and my husband always needs regular servicing, so whether it snows or not, it will be another white Christmas for me.

And I love it!!!!!